Written by a psychologist, starts with her outlining bereavements she faced. Increasing your mental strength isn’t about suppressing your emotions; instead it’s about developing a keen awareness of them. It’s about interpreting and understanding how your emotions influence your thoughts and behaviour.
As long as you feel sorry for yourself, you can delay any circumstances that will bring you face-to-face with your real fears, and you can avoid taking any responsibility for your actions.
You can view the events that happen in your life in many different ways. If you choose to view circumstances in a way that says, “I deserve better,” you’ll feel self-pity often. If you choose to look for the silver lining, even in a bad situation, you’ll experience joy and happiness much more often.
Instead practice gratitude, do this every day, consider writing things down but not necessary doesn’t need to be writing things down. Encourage others to do the same.
Don’t: Remaining passive about the situation and focusing only on how you feel, rather than what you can do. Don’t decline to participate in experiences and activities that could help you feel better Stay focused on what you don’t have rather than what you do have.
Empowerment, achieve this by deciding no one else has the power to control how you feel.
Researchers found that these people have a bi-locus of control, as opposed to a complete internal or external locus of control was best. To get the right balance of control recognize how their behaviours can affect their chances of success, but they also identify how external factors, such as being in the right place at the right time, can play a role. To achieve this balance in your own life, be willing to examine your beliefs about what you truly can control and what you can’t.
People pleasing can appear shallow. With a lack of communication can mean that if two people pleasers are together both may do things they don’t want just due to trying to help each other. You can still be a kind and generous person without trying to please everyone.
Consider saying say “I’m frustrated that you are always 30 mins late” as opposed to “you are never on time.” Outlines tragic tale of author of Peter Pan J. M. Barrie one of his brothers died in an ice-skating accident at young age and his mum told him adulthood isn’t nice, it is not a fairy tale after all.
Mentions a study that revealed participants showed the most glee when the rich professional experienced problems, like getting soaked by a taxi. In fact, people enjoyed that scenario even more than scenarios where any of the individuals received good fortune. And it was all based on the stereotype that somehow “rich professionals are bad.” Remember resentment can easily consume your entire life if you’re not careful.
2013 study titled “Envy on Facebook: A Hidden Threat to Users’ Life Satisfaction” demonstrated that people felt the most anger and resentment when their “friends” shared vacation photos. They also experienced resentment when their “friends” received a lot of “Happy Birthday” wishes on their birthdays. Frighteningly, the study concluded that those who experience a lot of negative emotions while browsing Facebook experience an overall decline in general life satisfaction.
Avoid comparing yourself to other people. You have your own set of unique talents, skills, and life experiences, so comparing yourself to other people isn’t an accurate way to measure your self-worth. Instead, compare yourself to who you used to be and measure how you’re growing as an individual.
Your words and your behaviour must be in line with your beliefs before you can begin to enjoy a truly authentic life. Once you’ve identified your fears, identify what you can control, focus on what you can control bearing in mind that sometimes the only thing you can control is your behaviour and attitude.