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How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

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One of the best books on managing your mind and anxiety that I have ever read. If you like quotes like “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” which helped Thomas Carlyle lead a life free from worry you will love this book!

The main point is to take one day at a time, a grain of rice at a time, focus on each day. Don’t let life pass you by. Do what Sir William Osier did: Live in “day-tight compartments”, don’t stew about the future simply just live each day until bedtime.

Concern means realising what the problems are and calmly taking steps to meet them. Worryingmeans going around in maddening, futile circles.

If you have a concern apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier by doing these three things.

1. Ask yourself, What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can’t solve my problem?”

2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.

3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

It is worth reminding yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. “Business men who do not know how to fight worry die young.” Break the worry habit before it breaks you!

Wipe the things that have occurred or that you can’t control from your mind and don’t worrying about them. Don’t saw sawdust!

Ways to manage worry:

1. Get the facts – half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision.

2. After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.

3. Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.

It is important to analyse problems, if you or your associates are tempted to worry about a problem, instead write out and answer the following questions:

a. What is the problem?

b. What is the cause of the problem?

c. What are all the possible solutions?

d. What is the best solution?

Whenever you are tempted to throw good money after bad stop and ask yourself three questions:

1. How much does this thing really matter to me?

2. At what point shall I set a “stop-loss” order on this and forget it?

3. Exactly how much shall I pay? Have I already paid more than it is worth?

Never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Do what General Eisenhower did: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.

Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals. Think about what you have, not what you want, count your blessings. Try to adjust yourself to what is, and try not to adjust everything to you own desires. If you can think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

Remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy ofgiving. Expect ingratitude remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day, only one thanked him.

Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?

“A good deed,” said the prophet Mohammed, “is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of another.”If you can do a good deed every day, one that will put a smile of joy on someone’s face it may also produce astounding results on yourself. Trying to bring happiness to others will cause us to stop thinking too much about and worrying about yourself. Thinking about ourselves too much is the very thing that produces worry and fear. Becoming interested in helping others stops you from having senselessness and emptiness in your life. In addition you may make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun by showing genuine interest in others health and happiness. Be sure to treat others as individuals, not a cog in the machine. Doing good to others is not a duty, it is in fact a joy.

A nice tale about a lady who became popular by always asking people at dinner-parties to tell her more about their experiences, ideas and plans for the future. In fact she didn’t ask these questions because she was especially interested in the answers she simply didn’t want people to notice her poor clothes, although often became interested in others when they answered. Undertaking this process allowed her to become a better listener, give people happiness by allowing them to talk about themselves and in turn they liked her.

Faith can be very useful Henry Ford once said when asked if he ever worried “No. I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe that every-thing will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about?”

If you are kicked and criticised, remember that it is often done because it gives the kicker a feeling of importance. It often means that you are accomplishing something and are worthy of attention. The saying to remember is that no one ever kicks a dead dog, the more important the dog is the more satisfaction people get kicking it.

Do not ignore all criticism and aim to obtain unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism. Be sure to ignore unjust criticism. There is an old German’s motto: “Just laugh.” That motto is especially good when you are the victim of unjust criticism. You can answer the man who answers you back, but what can you say to the man who “just laughs”?

We rarely get tired when we are doing something interesting and exciting. However, for things that aren’t interesting such as some work deliberately select the right thoughts, focusing on the good aspects. By thinking the right thoughts, you can make any job better. The right thoughts will take your mind off your worries, and, in the long run, will probably bring promotion and increased pay. Even if it doesn’t do that, it will reduce fatigue to a minimum and help you enjoy your hours of leisure.

In terms of managing finances, be sure not to increase your headaches with your income and teach your children a responsible attitude towards money.

If there is a problem on your mind – try to practically manage this

1. Find out precisely what is the problem you are worrying about.

2. Find out the cause of the problem.

3. Do something constructive at once about solving the problem.

So, if you can solve the problem and have the facts necessary to make a decision to it – don’t keep putting it off.

Be yourself, aim to have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change; the courage to change the things that you can; and more importantly the wisdom to know the difference

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