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The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary

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Book about parenting that suggests you should be present with your children and accept them as who they are. In the journey of parenting you’ll also learn a lot about yourself. Be able to selflessly give to others and learn to be overcome the desire to control your children. Don’t play tactics to try to control them, instead realise your child by being born has the right to express their individuality. Allow this by spending time with them and focus on the moment.

“Parenting is not that complicated or difficult once we become conscious because a conscious person is naturally loving and authentic. We teach more by example than in any other way. Children see and imitate everything.”

Acceptance is the key. You need to accept yourself, thereafter you are able to accept your child. Lead by example, realise that you’re not perfect and neither will your children be. Don’t accept imperfections by resigning to them and say they will always be such a way. Remember that there is no cookie cutter approach to parenting, each child is different. Accept how they are, this will allow them to flourish, much more so than trying to make them live up to your unrealistic expectations.

Suggests the majority of parents undertake this really due to egotism in which they have somebody they can influence and be proud of. The book says you need to let go of egotism before you can be a conscious fully aware parent. Suggests worry is only a fear of being present.

Take all opportunities to give your child complete attention. Be present with them and enjoy the moment. Your children do pick up a lot from you therefore be authentic and live in the present moment as an example. Realise that attempting to control your children is not a good idea, don’t put unnecessary stress on them, instead accept how they are.

Allow children to appreciate and celebrate the ordinary, not solely achievement. Enjoy things such as nature, smells and moments. If they become solidly grounded in their own essence they will do well in their life.

Aim to develop their ability to relate to themselves and relate to others, this will help raise a confident child. Make your children aware they can’t always get immediate gratification.

Correct your child in the present moment, don’t delay the discipline. Try not to have reactive discipline, in which you lose your control, state things you don’t mean in an effort to control your ego. Transcend confrontation without rigid thinking. Don’t take your children’s behaviour personally. Detach from the desire to win.

Think of parenting as a circular relationship in which you are bonding as individuals rather than linear or hierarchical relationship.

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