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Self-Talk for a Calmer You: Learn How To Use Positive Self-Talk To Control Anxiety And Live A Happier, More Relaxed Life by Beverly D. Flaxington

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Discover How Shifting Your Inner Dialogue Can Reduce Anxiety and Improve Your Life

In today’s fast-paced world, anxiety has become an all-too-common experience for many of us. Our minds are constantly racing with thoughts about what could go wrong or things we might have done differently. But what if you could take control of that inner dialogue and use it to reduce anxiety, boost your self-esteem, and create a more relaxed, happier life?

In Self-Talk for a Calmer You, Beverly D. Flaxington explains how the way you talk to yourself plays a critical role in shaping your reality. The good news? You are not locked into negative self-talk. You have the power to change your internal dialogue and, as a result, transform your emotional state. Here’s how to start using positive self-talk effectively:

1. Recognize That Your Self-Talk Isn’t Permanent

Your self-talk is shaped by your past experiences, but it’s not set in stone. Ask yourself: Is my self-talk helping me or holding me back? Often, we repeat negative narratives without questioning their validity. For instance, you might find yourself saying, “I’m always messing things up,” or, “I’ll never be good enough.”

These thoughts may feel true in the moment, but they’re just thoughts—mental habits that you can change. Acknowledge them for what they are and remind yourself that you have the power to shift your internal narrative.

2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Once you become aware of your negative self-talk, the next step is to question it. Why do you talk to yourself this way? What evidence do you have that supports these negative beliefs? Most of the time, you’ll find that your inner critic exaggerates or misinterprets situations.

For example, if you’re thinking, “I always fail at everything,” pause and reflect on this statement. Is it true? Likely not. Then, replace it with something more balanced, such as, “I’ve faced challenges, but I’ve also succeeded many times.” This small shift can help reframe your thinking.

3. Incorporate Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are powerful tools that can help you rewrite the script of your internal dialogue. Affirmations are short, positive statements that, when repeated, boost your self-esteem and outlook on life. For instance, you could use affirmations like, “Every day, I’m getting better and better,” or “I choose happiness.”

By consistently feeding your mind with positive, affirming statements, you can gradually shift from a place of anxiety to one of self-compassion and optimism.

4. Make the Deliberate Choice to Choose Happiness

Changing your self-talk won’t happen overnight, but it’s important to realize that you have a choice in the matter. You can choose to focus on the negative and let anxiety rule your thoughts, or you can make a conscious decision to focus on the positive and choose happiness. This doesn’t mean ignoring life’s difficulties, but it does mean choosing to approach challenges with a mindset of resilience and self-support.

Whenever negative thoughts arise, remind yourself: “I have a choice in how I think, and I choose thoughts that uplift me.” Over time, this practice can significantly lower anxiety and help you live a calmer, more peaceful life.

The Bottom Line

Your inner dialogue is incredibly powerful. By actively engaging with and reshaping your self-talk, you can manage anxiety more effectively and cultivate a more relaxed, happy mindset. It all starts with awareness, practice, and the choice to speak to yourself with kindness and positivity.

Start today by tuning into your self-talk, questioning the negative, and reinforcing the positive. You’ll soon find that your mental landscape becomes a much calmer and more supportive place.

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