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The Laws of Charisma: How to Captivate, Inspire, and Influence for Maximum Success by Kurt Mortensen

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Charisma: the ability to easily build rapport, effectively influence others to your way of thinking, inspire them to achieve more, and in the process make an ally for life. 

Need passion and conviction – these can be contagious. Excellent communication skills are needed, these include using non verbal gestures to good effect. 

Optimism is more than solely a positive mental attitude. True optimism is a frame of mind that governs how you look at the world and gives you expectations that things will eventually turn out okay. The fact that you firmly believe that you will eventually accomplish everything you set out to do and that you will be able to help others achieve their goals. When you are truly optimistic, you can transfer your hope and courage to others to help them see the potential positive outcomes of all the challenges you are facing.

Don’t be so sensitive to the criticism of others or so concerned about what others think of you. 

Power can relate to many factors for example job, title or area of expertise.

Good presentation skills, well dressed and not being too serious help.

Show energy, do this by telling powerful stories with audience involvement and keep fit.

Understand what causes your energy to fall. A lack of balance in your life could be a major factor in your losing valuable energy. Try to find the biggest area of weakness, it could be physical, intellectual, spiritual, social, financial, or emotional and then create a game plan to fix it.

Happiness is routed in the now.  A sense of purpose and direction it helps achieve happiness. Using humour connects you to people.

Self discipline and will power are important,  be aware when ranking self discipline in particular you may over score yourself on this. Working on self discipline will over time really really help you, this takes will power and commitment to do this.

Know more about an area than your audience does.  Keep working on your presentation skills. Be animated and full of energy.

Intuition can help you make decisions. 

Establish a purpose use affirmations and a game plan to pursue your purpose. Ignore others who will tell you it won’t work. Note use your judgment here, it maybe that some feedback is useful but the point is really to expect some people not to be supportive.

Radiate integrity do what you say you will do and know your values.

Have courage, stop blaming others have self control, realise that set backs maybe temporary and some failures are inevitable.

Be creative keep trying new things.

Practice making metaphors.

Focus activity doesn’t necessarily mean accomplishment

To focus wisely be guided by these four questions:

1. What is the best use of my time right now?

2. Am I spending vital time on unimportant things?

3. Do I confuse being busy with accomplishment?

4. Am I clear about exactly what I need to achieve?

When we focus our energy on things we don’t want to have happen we unintentionally expend all our energy on those negative things.  It is better to focus on what needs to be done now.

A big indicator of success is the ability to control impulses, resist distraction, and stay focused on the task at hand.

Forget your past mistakes, and learn to concentrate on your future potential.

The ability to connect with most people is critical for charisma.

Influence is to help others persuade themselves. Persuade and influence others by doing this the way they (not you) would like to be influenced.

Learn to story tell. Stories are less prone to make others feel defensive or feel as though you are critiquing or making demands of them. Instead of bluntly presenting your objections or differing opinions, bypass their resistance by presenting your point of view in a non-threatening and even entertaining way.

Keep the story simple – no more than three or four points.   Get your body and voice involved as part of the story.  Attempt to get the audience to participate both physically and mentally. Always practice your stories on a third party. Speak clearly and articulate every word.  If you can involve emotions you will establish a lasting impact.

Eye contact learn to vary depending on person you are speaking to. Don’t stare, learn to mirror their eye contact. If someone isn’t able to maintain eye contact with you, then you need to decrease your eye contact to maintain the connectivity.

As a general rule, maintaining eye contact 70 percent of the time will work with most people.

The most important skill to master is to truly listen, don’t just hear and wait for your turn to speak.

Establish and maintain rapport by showing genuine interest in others.

Empower others, treat others with respect, and there may come a time when they can repay you tenfold.

Empathy is feeling for and understanding others.  Practice empathy, imaging putting on their shoes and walking around in them.

How would I feel if I were this person?’

‘Why is the person feeling that way?’

 Respect be courteous to everyone and avoid speaking poorly of others.

Work on your voice, improve this by deliberately attempting to select the right choice of words, each word you use has an impact on your charisma. Proper words and language will vary from setting to setting, from person to person

Think about your rate of speech. Speeches delivered at a fast rate are rated more influential and charismatic than those presented at slow or even moderate speeds, because people who speak faster appear more competent and knowledgeable. When your overall rate is fast, people pay more attention and have less time to think of other things. Aim to vary your rate of speech to keep the audience interested.  Be careful if your rate is always fast with no variation; you will be judged as less sincere and more self-centred. Slow your rate down when you have something important or serious to say or want to appear thoughtful.

Vocal Fillers actively remove these unnecessary ‘um,’’ ‘‘ers,’’ ‘‘uh,’’ or even ‘‘you know.’’

Pitch and Inflection: Pitch is the level of your voice frequency. When you have a high pitch, you are judged as nervous, excited, or vulnerable. A low pitch tends to show more strength, confidence, and assurance. A lower voice is usually considered to be more believable, sincere, and trustworthy. Varying your pitch will also help listeners stay more alert and attentive, and you won’t sound monotonous.

Inflection is when you alter the pitch or tone of your voice. You will notice that influential people use inflection in their voices to show confidence and authority, at the end of their sentences, they will usually inflect downward. On a passing note in other languages such as Polish an upward inflection at the end of the sentence makes it sound like a question.  Adjust your volume accordingly, be aware you can reduce your volume or use silent pauses to provide dramatic effect.  Be clear with your articulation and pronunciation

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